Confession Time (& Calling Bullshit On Myself)

So, I have a confession. I want to be a writer.

I have another confession. A brutally honest one. I am not ACTING like someone who wants to be a writer.  On paper, it may not appear this way-

I am part of a writing group.

I attend write-ins and workshops (most of the time).

I take part in National Novel Writing Month.

I write for a living, for crying out loud!

At first glance, it would appear, this girl is doing what she can to further her writing career.

But, I’m calling Bullshit. That’s right, I’m calling Bullshit (with a capital “B” in case you didn’t notice) on myself. Why? Because I know what I’ve truly been doing these last few months, maybe longer, and it’s not writing.

  • I’ve been on social media
  • I’ve watched a lot of TV
  • I’ve watched a lot of movies
  • I’ve gone out to dinners, breakfasts, drinks
  • I’ve slept in. A lot.
  • I’ve talked about writing
  • I’ve read about writing
  • I’ve been doing a whole lot of nothing

I’ve had every opportunity to write even though I’ve claimed I haven’t.

I’ve claimed my life has been too hectic.

I’ve claimed a lot of things. And it’s all bullshit. I knew what I had to do, and I wasn’t doing it.

The Simple Answer

I recently heard Jeff Goins interviewed and he repeated the first bit of writing advice he ever received.

“You don’t have to want to write to be a writer. You ARE a writer, you just HAVE TO WRITE.”

I repeat. YOU JUST HAVE TO WRITE. Pretty simple, right? And I knew that. I knew that was the answer, but I was resisting it. For one reason or another, I was denying the simple truth. To be a writer, you just have to write.

But, no more.

It’s time to suck it up, can the excuses, look myself in the mirror and say, “You ARE a writer. YOU JUST HAVE TO WRITE.”

Is it going to be that simple? Sadly, no.

I have been resisting the call to write for so long I don’t even remember what it feels like to sit down at a computer or with a notebook and let the words flow freely.

Did they ever flow freely? Did writing ever come easy?

Maybe, maybe not. But, the truth is, it doesn’t matter. Because it’s not coming easily now. And it’s not coming easily because of the habits I’ve formed (or not formed), the excuses I’ve made and the truth that I’ve resisted.

No More

But, no more. This is my call to action for myself and for my fellow writers. This is also an invitation. It’s an invitation for you to follow along on my journey as I try to pull myself out of a rut 30 some years in the making and take myself from being a resistant writer to just a writer. Who is writing.  

On this journey, I will not only be making changes to my writing habits, but also to my life. And I will be sharing those changes here. Because I haven’t just stopped writing, I’ve also lost sight of some very important truths. Truths that have recently been brought back to me. Truths such as:

“Your level of success, will rarely exceed your level of personal development, because success is something you attract by the person you become.” – Hal Elrod, The Miracle Morning.

So, it’s time to change the person I am becoming.

Now, I’m not an expert. I’m not a published author. I’m not a professor or a motivational speaker. But, that is kind of the point. I’m just like you. I’m just a 30 (ish) lover of words and stories who has spent/wasted a lot of time thinking that, because I am relatively good at writing, a career would fall into my lap. Ok, this may be a little harsh, I wasn’t that naive. I have a hard time writing. I have a hard time staying motivated. And there are a lot of reasons for that.

I was lazy.

I was apathetic. I knew what I needed to do, but I didn’t do it.

I WAS NOT acting like a writer.

No more.

I am a writer that will start acting like a writer. I will pull on my big girl writing panties (which may or may not have the days of the week on them) and get to work. If you care to join, I probably have an extra pair around here somewhere…*wanders off to dig through laundry*

*Pops back in* Sorry, easily distracted. Anyway, follow me in my journey. I’ll blog, I’ll post, I’ll probably fall behind, get distracted and fall into old habits. But, if you are watching, you can poke me, prod me, call Bullshit and tell me to get back to work. And I would be happy to do the same for you.

So, ready? Set? Let’s stop resisting and get writing.

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